At times of war
by MrsRegulusBlack123
Summary: You try not to think about the possibility that they might be out there somewhere, you refuse to think about what you would do if you happened to encounter them on the battlefield one day. You hope that never happens. Post-Sburb. War!AU. A little DaveKat


**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck.**

* * *

Ever since the war started, everything went straight to hell.

An alien invasion- it sounds so much like a goddamn sci-fi movie to your ears that even now- two years after this whole thing started it is hard to believe. But it has been exactly sixteen months, eight days, seven hours, twenty-six minutes and eleven, twelve, thirteen seconds since you encountered your first Alternian soldier and killed him. And then your life consisted on nearly nothing _but _that routine, over and over again since then.

You honestly shouldn't be phased by this- not anymore. You shouldn't feel remorse for the younger ones that look so lost and scared and out of place in those too big uniforms. You shouldn't halt- if even for only a moment- when you think you see a particular shape of horns among the crowd, or when you think you see a familiar pair of red glasses, only for it to turn out to be nothing in the end. They are trying to kill you, just like you are trying to kill them and for all intents and purposes they are the bad guys since it was _them _that invaded your planet. You should _want _to kill them, you should _want _their heads sliced off their necks, their bodies mutilated, cold, decaying as they lay forgotten on the ground. But you can't bring yourself to do that. You can't, because every time you see one of them dead- every time you see their blood and it has that particular shade of teal or green or- god forbid- _red_, it makes your stomach churn. Your heart clenches, and for a moment you can't help but imagine another face on the dead body.

You will always remember the horror that swept through you as you sliced down that one troll to save some teammate of yours you don't even really know the name of. Your sword had cut right through the alien's chest with that disgusting wet kind of sound and and as you pulled it out, the alien slumping unceremoniously on the ground, you still clearly remember the way cold sweat drenched you- bile rising to your throat. Red. Mutant _candy red_. For a moment, for a horrible, terrifying, absolutely nerve-wrecking moment you could only stare at the body, the messy black hair, the short form, the _red blood_... and then- then you realized that no, no, _thank god_, the horns were too curvy. You turned the body over, just to make sure and you don't quite know how you feel about being so relieved that it was a girl- malnourished and way too young to be exposed to this hell.

But you can't afford to get distracted, not all of them are young children that don't really want to be here- there are older ones, bigger ones, stronger ones. Ones that won't let a sword just pierce them through their back- a rookie mistake for not being alert enough. Your life is on the line here, just like theirs is, and losing focus for even a moment might very well cost you your life this time instead of theirs.

You try not to think about the possibility that _they _might be out there somewhere, you refuse to think about what you would do if you happened to encounter them on the battlefield one day. You hope that never happens.

And so the days pass by and most of you have lost count by now because every day is the same- fight and kill and kill some more and pray you don't die along the way- all of them, but you. You always know. You always know exactly what time it is or how long it's been because you are the Knight of Time. You only wish that something more other than that eternally ticking biological clock would've remained of your powers, you wish you still had your turntables and you could still fly around in those red god tier pajamas, believing everything will be okay. But you lost all that when the game ended, you think you might still have the powers- Rose still has her visions and shit- but without your turntables they're useless.

It's been exactly two years, one month, three days, sixteen hours, twelve minutes and 54, 55, 56 seconds since the war started, your name is DAVE STRIDER and your biggest nightmare has just come true.

You both just stand there for several seconds in a tense silence, his sickle hooked around your neck and your sword poised against his heart. Wide red eyes stare into what could be their reflexion. They are exactly the same shade of red- just as you remember them- and though it has been so long and you have both grown a lot, you instantly know it's him.

He exhales sharply through his pointed teeth and you know that he has recognized you too.

Neither of you is willing to take the step that will permanently end the other.

"Dave..." He whispers, and you can't help but notice how his voice has gotten just a little heavier- it also seems gruff from disuse. Of course, he was what, 16 the last time you saw him? Still a child.

"Karkat..." You almost wince, because your voice sounds no better.

You lower your sword, letting your arm drop uselessly to your side because you know there's no way you will be using it on him. Not to kill him. He starts to do the same and you almost allow yourself to relax as you feel the sickle's cold metal being removed from the back of your neck. Nothing else around you exists and for a second you feel like it's just the two of you again, back on that meteor hurling through space- keeping each other company because everyone else is busy. It feels nostalgic. But then his red eyes are narrowed at you and the moment of calmness- the moment of feeling content- is over. A ferocious growl is released from the back of his throat as he bares his sharp teeth at you and you don't think you've ever seen him look more like a wild animal than he does now.

He looks terrifying.

You take a surprised step back as he runs at you, and for a moment you think- _he's fooled you, you let your guard down and now he's attacking you_- you feel betrayed... but then, then he's suddenly pushing you out of the way, sickle swinging at something that's not quite within your line of vision.

Green drips to the ground, green like the weird cat-troll-girl you once saw in a dream bubble, the same green you're sure exists somewhere on your uniform as well because you've killed so many trolls by now that your uniform looks like a party of colors. It's disgusting.

"Don't space out, you fucking idiot!"

"Yeah, shit, thanks." Is all you manage to choke out, your eyes still on the olive-blooded troll Karkat just killed. He saved you. "Thanks, man."

"You can thank me later, now get the fuck up, Strider."

You comply and the next thing you know he's got his hand wrapped around your wrist tightly and he's leading you somewhere.

His grip is too tight, his sharp fingernails- they're claws, really- digging into your skin painfully. Human skin is much more soft compared to trolls', but you can't blame him for not really thinking of that at the moment. You're probably going to have a bruise on your wrist tomorrow. You can't bring yourself to give a shit.

You somehow maneuver through fighting humans and Alternians without many obstacles, you're not sure where you're going- this place used to be a city once but it's now a barren wasteland. Karkat pulls you into a rundown building across the road, running up some stairs and hauling you into a random room. The blinds are shut and it's very dusty and dirty and half of the furniture is ruined beyond repair... but at least there's no one else there.

His arms are suddenly around you and... he's hugging you.

_Karkat Vantas is hugging you._

His gray hands clutch your shirt like it's a lifeline and his face is buried against your shoulder-blade. His shoulders are shaking.

You bring your own arms up to wrap them around Karkat's small form and you can't help but notice... it really isn't that small anymore. He's grown- he's still a good head shorter than you of course, but still. It feels so weird.

You just stand there in silence, and right now, everything that's going on outside doesn't matter. It's just you, hugging each other and praying so _so _hard that this is real. You take in his scent, and his messy black hair- thicker than a human's could ever be- tickles your cheek, but you don't want this moment to ever end. This is the best either of you have felt in a long time. It's only after nearly ten minutes that Karkat finally steps back.

He frantically rubs his sleeve over his eyes and tries to hide the fact that he was crying, you do the same. It leaves a damp feeling on your sleeve. It'll go away.

Your eyes focus back on Karkat instead and you've got to push your shades up because it's too dark to really see him in this place. He's grown older since the last time you saw him, he's taller and his gray skin looks a few tints darker than it was when the game ended, every speck of gray has left his eyes as well, replaced completely by the bright red that is the color of his blood (you think you remember somebody telling you this was a normal process for trolls as they grow older). But the change isn't only physical- he looks tired, worn out- there are dark bags under his eyes- just like there always are, but they somehow look even worse now- he looks like he hasn't had a good meal in weeks. You're sure you look no better. He's the same age as you- 23 human years, about 10 alternian sweeps- but he looks so much older, you recognize that look in his eyes. You see it every time you look at John (how long has it been since you've seen him? Watched a movie together?), or Rose (how is she doing?) and even Jade (you hope she's alive because- fuck- you have no idea what you'd do without her). You see that look every time you look in the mirror. It's the look of someone too young who has seen way too much shit in his life. SBURB had fucked you all up pretty bad- you had had to see yourself die in countless different timelines, Rose and John saw their dead parents, Jade had to kiss your corpse- but this war? This war fucked you up a thousand times worse.

There's another long stretch of silence and this time it's you who speaks up first.

"So... how are you holding up, Karkat?"

"That's got to be the dumbest fucking question I've ever heard."

The answer is rather obvious, so you simply nod. Of course he's not alright. You are all in the same shithole here, even if you're on different sides of this war.

"... yeah."

"I never thought I'd see you again." He finally says.

"Yeah, man, neither did I... the game just threw me and Dirk out here, in front of our apartment- it was like the game never happened. Bro was there too- I mean, if it wasn't for Dirk and John and the rest still remembering..."

"John." The name strikes a chord and Karkat's suddenly taking a step forward. "Where is he? Is he-?"

"He's okay... as far as I know." You swallow, you miss your best friend, you really do. He'd have been happy to see Karkat too. "He was sent up north some weeks ago."

The troll nods.

"The assface's stronger than he looks." _he'll be okay._ You know what he's thinking- even without Karkat actually having to voice his thoughts. You're thinking the same thing. Hoping, because that's all that you can do at this point. "What about Harley? And Lalonde? Maryam won't shut up about her."

"Last I heard Rose was still in New York with Roxy. Being badass bitches and all." You try to lighten the mood, but it doesn't really seem to work. You hadn't expected it to. "Should I tell her something, from Kanaya, I mean. When I talk to her again at least."

"Kanaya's looking for her." You nod, Rose was too.

"As for Jade... I... haven't heard from her in a while. I mean, she lives on a godforsaken island in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and when this whole thing started and the internet went down- I'm sure she's fine though, she's got Jake with her. And she's not half bad with guns herself either..." You hate how unconvinced you sound, even to yourself.

Karkat just nods, there's nothing to really say.

"How's TZ? And the mayor? Do you know what happened to him? The others?"

"I spoke to Terezi a few nights ago... she's- across the sea, or something. That big chunk of land across from here."

"Europe?" There's a nod. You hope she's alright. She's a good fighter though- you have faith in her.

"Kanaya... is out there looking for Rose, I've honestly got no fucking idea where she is. I haven't spoken to Gamzee since this whole thing started. Sollux... I don't- I don't even fucking know. I haven't heard anything about the mayor since the game ended..."

You nod and there's another silence.

"Life must love fucking us over, right?" You chuckle mirthlessly. Because look how you all ended up- all you had wanted after the game ended was some peace and quiet and what did you get? A war. A war with more blood and more death and more pain. A war where you constantly fear for your friends- friends who are scattered all over both sides.

Life is a bitch.

You hear Karkat snort.

"Yeah what else is new, fuckass?"

"It's the story of our lives, huh?"

"Pretty fucking much."

You find yourself smiling, just a little bit. You're not sure when you took his hand in yours, fingers getting intertwined, but there's a tiny smile on his lips as well and for a moment you're both peaceful. Nothing needs to be said or done, you're content.

There's suddenly a loud crash from downstairs and both of you are startled out of your trance- you exchange looks and the growls, groans and clicks that sound from the floor beneath you don't make any sense to your ears, but they do to Karkat. There are trolls there.

Karkat's quickly letting go of your hand and grabs you by the shirt instead, pulling you down a bit so you're looking at his eyes- they're narrowed, and whatever is going through his mind, he's serious about it.

"You better stay the fuck alive, Dave. I'm serious. I don't fucking care what it takes, keep. Yourself. Alive."

You numbly nod, and he's hugging you again. You return the gesture because who knows how long it will be until you get the chance again. Karkat pulls away, and you hear the stairs creaking, the voices have become louder.

"I'm going to get them out of here, when the coast is clear get the fuck away from this place. This whole city I mean- they're planning on sending a large group of highbloods here in a few days. Go up North, find John or whatever the fuck. Just get out of this city. Get as far away from it as you fucking can."

You find yourself nodding along, but something doesn't sit right-

"And you?"

"What about me, fuckface? I'm a fucking troll, it's the humans my race is trying to exterminate." He quickly glances at the doorway and his voice drops a tiny bit. They're getting closer. "I'll be fine."

"Promise me. Promise me you won't let yourself be killed. You'll live through this, no matter what."

"Yes, _fuck Dave_, I promise. Now let go off me, you nooksniffing moron- they're _getting closer._" His voice sounds urgent and he's whispering. You hesitantly loosen your fingers- you don't want to watch him go. Not after it took you so long to find him.

"Hey Karkat."

"_What?!_"

"Lets go on a date when this whole clusterfuck is over." His glare softens and you watch as he tries- and fails- to stop the smile from appearing on his lips.

He nods.


End file.
